It’s been years, or so I would say 8 years to be exact. The first time we met, I could make neither head or tail of who you are. Yet I took it upon myself to reach for you and discern every word you tried to teach me.

Every day, I would bring you to school. People asked why; carrying you to and fro was such a burden. I merely smiled. Indeed, they were right, but at the same time they were gravely wrong. In time, I began to like you. No matter how hard it was to understand you and how heavy a burden you were, I tried hard and even sought help from Ustaz and Ustazah. Others would mock at me as I carry you on my back or by my side, day or night.

“What load are you carrying … a brick?” said they.

I didn’t want to leave you. You were the only true companion I had. No matter how heavy you were on my back, I knew that befriending you was no mistake. You were the key for me to understand the words of Allah better.

Alhamdulillah. The day of the test came and I easily answered from leaf to leaf. Going through the ordeal was as easy and as swift as turning a page. By the grace of Allah, you have helped me a lot, and today, I understand you more than I did 8 years ago.

However, I have neglected you for so long that the very instant I saw you, my tears trickled. My quest to further understand the words of Allah has come to a halt for I have also stopped seeing you.

Dear Kamus Al-Marbawi, when was the last time I held you in my arms?

I have become so much engulfed in the ramblings of this world that I have forgotten you – the key to leverage my understanding of Kalaamullah.

O Allah, forgive me.